Men – 4 Ways to Pursue Your Wife

For a long time, women have always been told to play hard to get. And for just as long, men have known that women like to be chased..

We’re men, and we’re competitive… that’s why we like the chase.  We enjoy the pursuit. The problem is, when we catch the thing we’re pursuing, we stop.  That’s what a wedding is, right? The finish line. The finale. The “catch” at the end of the pursuit. Here’s the thing though, if you don’t want to settle for an okay marriage and alright life… If you want more – an amazing relationship, a fantastic marriage, awesome sex… then the wedding should be the beginning of the real chase.

Because we are men, and because we are husbands, and because no one else can pursue our wives for us, we need to begin to act like extraordinary marriages are our number one goal.  No longer can we sit on the sidelines, and we can’t go into the game soft, sluggish, and pudgy.  No one can quarterback your marriage except you. We win by engaging in a constant pursuit. Pursuing your wife tells her you are invested, you are interested, you care and you want her! She values your input above all others. There is no other replacement for you as a husband, as her quarterback.  There are no audibles you can call.  There are no other options; there is only you. You are the only one in the world that can make her feel loved, cherished, pursued, and valued.  It’s all you.  There’s no one else.  Period.

Here are 4 Ways you can win at your marriage by pursuing your wife:

1 – Get in her face

We have to make it a priority to have face-to-face time with our wives every. single. day. So often we get home from a long day at the office, exhausted we eat dinner, tuck the kids to bed, and crash out – or we turn on NetFlix or get lost in our iPhone screens. Power down the computer, plug in your iPhone to charge, and get in each other’s faces. We have to be able to open up to our wives, have them open up to us, and then try our best to not “fix” them.  Face-to-face time is not about us coming to their rescue concerning all of their problems.  It’s about real, authentic, one-on-one time that we both need.

2 – Make a date or send her away.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for your wife, especially if you have kids, is give her time to herself. Schedule some time that you can take over, so she can get away to a café, to get her nails done, just to be alone; she’ll love you for it.  Sometimes, she’s just waiting for you to take the lead and plan a date. That means to pick the place (none of this, “where do you want to go?” – “I don’t know”  stuff.) Actually pick the place, coordinate the babysitter. It’s a little bit of work, but it’s totally worth it.

3 – Go after SEX!

You might think this goes without being said, right? It’s not the case in many marriages today. Too often we get caught in a routine and we become roommates instead of intimate partners, or we come home so exhausted that we don’t make sex a priority. Jumping out of the shower, striking a pose and asking, “Do you want some of this?” doesn’t count by the way. Pursuing means going after face-to-face time and belly-button-to-belly-button time in a real way. Sex is an amazing gift from God. When you’re intimate with your wife emotionally, when your leading, and when you’re focused on going after Jesus together sex will be the most powerful , amazing thing in your marriage, and that’s exactly how God intended it.

4 – Go after Jesus like never before

More important than anything else, pursue Jesus.  From your pursuit of Him, everything else will follow (John 15:5).It begins more with you, as the husband, as the spiritual leader in your marriage, and it ends with you, too.  Before all else, focus on your relationship with Jesus, not your wife’s relationship with Jesus.  Focus on your prayer life.  Focus on your heart. When it is real and genuine, and not out of obligation or duty, then your wife will see it. Spend time reading God’s Word alone. Spend time praying alone, then pray together with your wife and go after God together. When Jesus is at the center of your marriage, amazing things can happen, and you can EXPECT an extraordinary marriage.